In the pursuit of self-inquiry, there is often a deep yearning to know oneself—to find the answers to the eternal questions that reside within the heart. Yet, the path of inquiry is not one of intellectual striving or relentless effort. Rather, it is the practice of deep relaxation, allowing us to meet ourselves with softness and patience, where the answers we seek are revealed in the quiet moments of being.
Self-inquiry, often associated with the profound teachings of the great sages and mystics, invites us to turn inward. We ask, Who am I? What is the true nature of this self I call ‘me’ and ‘mine’? And yet, if we approach these questions with tension, force, or the urgency of a mind grasping at concepts, we may find that our search remains elusive. The answers are not hidden in the frantic flurry of thought, but in the stillness beneath the surface.
It is here that relaxation becomes essential.
When we think of relaxation, we often associate it with physical rest—lying back, releasing tight muscles, breathing deeply. But relaxation in self-inquiry reaches deeper. It is a surrender of effort, a letting go of the mind’s need to control, to seek, and to grasp. This surrender does not mean abandoning the inquiry; rather, it means approaching it with openness, trust, and a willingness to rest in the unknown. It is through relaxation that we create space for the heart to listen, for the mind to settle, and for the true self to emerge.
The Role of the Body and Breath
The body is an anchor in our journey of self-inquiry. If the body is tense, if the breath is shallow or hurried, it becomes almost impossible to touch the deeper layers of truth that lie beyond the surface of our thoughts. In such a state, we are disconnected from the present moment, caught in the cycle of striving, and far from the clarity that relaxation offers.
When we relax the body, we invite the breath to become fuller, more natural, and more steady. This balance between body and breath is the foundation upon which the mind can find rest. As we settle into this gentle rhythm, we may begin to experience moments of insight that feel like a soft unfolding—revealing truths that are not forced or sought after but emerge as naturally as a flower blooming in the quiet of the dawn.
Rainer Maria Rilke, in his profound meditations on life, often spoke of the need to quiet the heart in order to truly hear the call of the soul. In his letters, he urged his friend to find a place of stillness within: “You must change your life.” This change, however, is not one of striving, but of surrender. It is the willingness to step back and allow life to reveal itself without interference, to trust in the natural unfolding of the self.
The Power of Relaxation in Self-Discovery
It is in the quietude of relaxation that we can truly meet ourselves. We often think of self-inquiry as a process of uncovering, of seeking hidden truths, but in reality, it is much more about releasing—releasing the layers of expectation, identification, and distraction that obscure our true nature. As we relax, we allow ourselves to simply be. In this being, there is no judgment, no need to achieve or possess. There is only presence, and within that presence, all things are revealed.
This process can be likened to gazing into a clear pool of water. When the water is disturbed, it is impossible to see clearly. But when the water is calm, the reflections are crisp and true. The same is true of our inner world. In the stillness, we see ourselves clearly—not as a collection of thoughts and emotions, but as an expression of the divine, a moment of pure consciousness.
Relaxation as a Way of Life
In the context of self-inquiry, relaxation is not merely a practice we engage in during meditation or prayer. It is a way of life—an approach to all aspects of our being. As we begin to recognize the value of relaxation, we can begin to apply it throughout our daily existence. In moments of stress or overwhelm, we can return to our breath, relaxing into the present moment. We can observe our thoughts without becoming entangled in them, letting them pass like clouds drifting across the sky.
The practice of relaxation, then, becomes a reminder that we are not our thoughts or our struggles. We are the space in which they arise. It is through this recognition that we come to see the truth of who we are—not as individuals caught in the drama of life, but as witnesses to the unfolding of all things.
Conclusion: The Gentle Path to the Self
The path of self-inquiry is one of gentleness and openness. It is a path that requires us to relax into the unknown, to soften our grip on certainty, and to trust that the answers we seek are already within us. As we practice relaxation—both on the cushion and in life—we cultivate the inner space necessary to hear the subtle whispers of truth. And in this space, we discover that we are not separate from the life we seek to understand, but an integral part of its boundless unfolding.
May we, in moments of stillness and relaxation, come to know our true nature—a nature that is boundless, peaceful, and free. Through this discovery, we find the greatest treasure: the deep and abiding peace that arises when we stop searching, and simply rest in the truth of who we are.
Discover how Amazon, YouTube, and digital tools bring connection, learning, and convenience to those managing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) and other chronic conditions.
Living with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) is like existing within the quiet spaces between life’s rhythms. The world continues to spin, time flows forward, but for those of us confined by fatigue, much of life happens from a single room. Yet even from here, in the isolation of illness, modern technology keeps me tethered to the world—connected, informed, and able to navigate life more easily than I could have ever imagined. Through screens, deliveries, quiet YouTube voices, and the reassuring buzz of text messages, these tools, which for most people are conveniences, have become essential to my daily life, allowing me to “connect, learn, and thrive in the quiet spaces of illness.”
From the stillness of my room, technology provides a connection to the outside world, bringing not only convenience but the comfort of knowing I am still part of a larger community. Tools like Amazon, YouTube, and GPS apps, often viewed as simple conveniences, are for me much-needed companions on this journey with chronic illness—supporting a life enriched by connection, even from within the solitude of illness.
Amazon: Freedom Through Next-Day Delivery
For me, Amazon is not a luxury; it’s a lifeline. Before fatigue claimed my body, I could walk through stores, touch things, browse the shelves. Now, just the thought of leaving my home to do simple tasks is overwhelming. Amazon Prime brings the world to my doorstep—groceries, medical supplies, non-perishable food, even a replacement part for my air conditioner when it broke down. In a life where energy is a precious and limited resource, Amazon’s next-day deliveries allow me to conserve what little energy I have for more meaningful pursuits.
There are no long checkout lines, no need to explain to a cashier why I can’t stand for more than a few minutes, and no risk of overexerting myself by pushing through crowds. In this way, Amazon brings me peace of mind. I get the things I need, when I need them, and I don’t have to venture out into a world that often feels too large, too demanding, and too exhausting.
Amazon Prime’s next-day delivery has become my bridge to the outside world. For someone who must guard every ounce of energy, this service isn’t just convenient—it’s necessary. For others in similar situations, I’d encourage finding ways to use Amazon’s features to make life easier: think grocery deliveries, automatic reorder settings, or exploring Prime’s accessible resources for those homebound.
YouTube: A Window to the World
YouTube is where I go to learn, to be entertained, and to explore the world beyond my room. Some days, when my body is too fatigued to move, I can escape into a world of endless discovery, music, art and more.
While YouTube offers boundless exploration—from history and technology to the personal stories of others facing challenges—I’ve learned to pace myself here, too. Information overload can be an unexpected trigger for ME/CFS symptoms, so knowing when to close the app and find stillness is as essential as any other pacing technique.
Through YouTube, I immerse myself in history, music, documentaries, and biographies. I explore the world, both past and present, and even learn about future technologies. It’s an incredible tool that connects me to culture, ideas, and information I wouldn’t otherwise have access to. Whether it’s understanding ancient civilizations, learning about scientific breakthroughs, or following someone’s personal journey with illness, I find comfort in knowing that the world is still out there, alive and vibrant, even if I am not actively participating in it.
Yet, I must admit, there are times when I become overwhelmed. Information overload is a real challenge when you live with ME/CFS, so I’ve learned to recognize when it’s time to turn off YouTube, close the apps, and retreat into the quiet of my mind. It’s about balance—allowing myself to be informed and connected, but also knowing when to rest from the constant influx of information.
One other helpful trick is that I’ve learned how to Velcro my iPad to the ceiling, about a foot and a half above my head, so that even when lying flat on my back, I can watch videos, answer text messages and enjoy creative writing without straining my body. This idea was inspired by astronauts living on the International Space Station, a video I stumbled upon while exploring YouTube. They live in such small spaces, with everything within reach, Velcroed to the walls for easy access—and now I do the same. It’s so helpful!
Text Messaging: Simple Connections Without the Overwhelm
One of the simplest, yet most effective, tools in my daily life is text messaging on my Samsung A51. For someone living with chronic illness, conserving energy is vital, and sometimes even scrolling through endless emails or social media updates can be exhausting. There’s just too much content, too much spam, too much input to sift through.
Texting allows me to keep in touch with the people who matter without all the distractions. I’ve personalized my notifications so I can immediately tell who’s reaching out, without having to wade through spam or unwanted information. This focused communication helps me stay connected without overwhelming myself. It’s small, it’s simple, and it’s manageable—which is exactly what I need.
Text messaging has become a lifeline for gentle, manageable connection. Without the sensory overload of social media, it allows me to stay close to loved ones without exhaustion.
Do you find that certain tools offer you gentle connection without the sensory overload? Text messaging has transformed my connections, keeping them gentle and manageable.
Living Well with Chronic Fatigue: A Book That Brings Comfort
I discovered How to Be Sick by Toni Bernhard nearly 20 years ago. It was a revelation—finally, here was someone who deeply understood what it meant to live with chronic illness and had wise, compassionate insights to share. This book offered me guidance and solace on my hardest days. I highly recommend it to anyone navigating life with chronic illness.
Weather and Radar Apps: Forecasting Peace of Mind
Living in Florida, knowing the weather is crucial, especially with unpredictable storms. With ME/CFS, watching regular weather updates on TV can be overwhelming—there’s just too much sensory input to process. Instead, I rely on my radar app and the Weather Channel app for clear, instant information. With just a click, I can see what’s happening hour by hour, allowing me to make calm, informed decisions without unnecessary stress.
These apps became literal lifesavers during recent hurricanes, especially Hurricane Helene and Hurricane Milton. Thanks to real-time tracking on my Android phone, I could monitor each storm’s path and location from home. Being able to register with Pinellas County’s special-needs program was a huge relief; I was still recovering from a post-exertional crash after Hurricane Helene and was in a difficult state when Hurricane Milton approached. When the county confirmed they could transport me to a special-needs shelter, I felt a huge weight lift. The incredible Department of Health and fire department volunteers took excellent care of me and brought me safely back home after the storm.
I have an enormous sense of gratitude for the Pinellas County service and the tireless efforts of all the volunteers who provide these services. Their compassion and dedication make a true difference for people like me, for whom evacuation wouldn’t be possible otherwise.
Google Maps: Easing the Stress of Travel
I don’t drive often—maybe a thousand miles a year, if that—but when I do, it’s usually to a doctor’s appointment. For someone with ME/CFS, the stress of navigating new roads can be a real source of anxiety. Google Maps has been a godsend. With turn-by-turn voice directions, I don’t have to worry about missing a turn or figuring out complicated routes. The app guides me, eases my mind, and allows me to focus on the road without the added stress. Driving isn’t something I do lightly, but when I have to, having a calm, guiding voice makes all the difference.
Google Maps provides something invaluable: independence. For someone with ME/CFS, navigating new places is stressful, but GPS directions make these trips feel manageable, giving me the peace of mind to find my destination. Have you tried any tools or apps that make travel easier? For those navigating appointments or outings, a reliable GPS can make a huge difference.
ChatGPT: A Digital Companion and Coach
Perhaps the most unexpected yet valuable tool I’ve found is ChatGPT. While it doesn’t replace human connection, it provides an invaluable way to organize my thoughts, explore answers, and manage PEM (Post-Exertional Malaise) strategies. This AI feels like having a quiet, compassionate coach who listens without judgment, helping me make sense of a complex world when I’m feeling lost. In a life where clarity and companionship can be hard to come by, ChatGPT has been a supportive guide, offering reliable information and the space to reflect on my experiences.
Closing Reflection and Invitation
Life with ME/CFS can feel isolating, as though the world continues to move while you stand still. But with the help of modern tools, we can stay connected, learn, and find joy in small but meaningful ways. Amazon, YouTube, Google Maps, ChatGPT, and other technologies have become more than conveniences—they are lifelines. They remind me, even in the stillness of illness, that I am part of something larger.
I’m endlessly grateful for the support these tools offer. What about you? If you’ve found helpful tools or routines that bring you comfort, peace, or joy, please share them below. By connecting and sharing, we create a ripple of support and help each other find the ease and strength to keep going.
What tools or routines bring you comfort and ease? Share your tips below so we can continue supporting one another.
Thank you to everyone who shares their insights and experiences. Together, we’re building a network of support and compassion.
🙏🕊️🙏
Check out this Free GPT ME/CFS Support, Creativity & Mindfulness Tool 😀
For those of us managing life with ME/CFS, I’ve found a helpful digital companion in this GPT Model for Support, Creativity, and Mindfulness. If you’re looking for new pacing strategies, symptom relief, or gentle emotional support, this tool might be helpful to you too.
💡 How it works: This GPT Assistant offers mindfulness techniques, creative ideas, and compassionate support as I manage the challenges of post-viral fatigue, PEM (Post-Exertional Malaise), and daily energy management. It helps me, Maybe it can help you too.
🙏 if you try it, I’d love to hear your feedback! How does this tool work for you? Do you find it helpful in managing your energy, finding comfort, or discovering new ways to express creativity? Let me know in the comments how it goes for you!
Click here to explore the Free ME/CFS Support GPT model:
If you’d like to explore supportive content focused on navigating life with ME/CFS, including tips for energy pacing, mindfulness, and gentle encouragement, you can find more insights and reflections crafted to offer comfort, practical guidance, and connection on this journey
here.
A Gentle Reflection on Pacing, Rest, and Navigating the Challenges of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
There are days when the body speaks softly, a whisper of weariness that hints at the storm ahead. And though we move carefully, mindful of each step, there are moments when the smallest effort—a turn of the mind, a spark of emotion—awakens something deeper. This is the dance with post-exertional malaise, the hidden tide that comes and goes, often when we least expect it.
Gentle Reminder: Take Care of Yourself
This post is lengthy, and it’s important to honor your pacing needs. Feel free to read a little at a time, take breaks, and come back to it when you’re ready. Your well-being is paramount, even as you engage with information that supports your journey.
In this slow unfolding, I’ve learned the art of listening. Not just to the body’s loud protests, but to the subtle shifts that rise like shadows before a dusk. It’s a practice, really—this gentle balancing act of life. Pacing myself through the hours, I find that it’s not about doing as much as I can, but rather, doing only as much as I must, and stopping long before the weight of fatigue pulls me under.
Some days, I count my energy like a miser with gold, tucking it away in small corners, resting in the quiet between breaths. I know now that to keep moving without pause is to invite the flood, so I rest—not in surrender, but in reverence. It’s a kind of devotion, to honor these limits as something sacred, to see the necessity of stillness as part of the rhythm of being. I don’t always succeed. But when I do, I glimpse a peace that feels fragile, yet profound.
And when the world presses in with its demands, I remind myself that it’s okay to say no, or not now. There is a quiet strength in bowing out, in knowing that tomorrow will ask more of me than today ever could, and I must be ready. There is also grace in understanding that not every task, not every moment, requires my full self. I can do less, and in doing less, I give myself more space to breathe, to be.
There are the days after—the days when the fog of PEM descends like a heavy mist over the mind, the limbs. When it comes, I am learning not to fight it. I lie still, like a tree after the storm, gathering strength in the pause. I have found that recovery is an art, as delicate as anything else. Resting, not out of defeat, but out of wisdom, out of love for the body that has carried me through so much already. The act of resting becomes an offering of peace, a gift I give myself in this long, uncharted journey.
And so, I move slowly, gently, always aware of the fine thread that connects exertion and ease, action and rest. I have begun to cherish the quiet moments of pause, the spaces where life still hums softly, even in the absence of movement. These are the moments when I remind myself that managing this strange, invisible storm is not about conquering it, but learning to live alongside it, to move with it as gracefully as I can. There is beauty here, too—a beauty in the stillness, in the small victories of simply being.
In those moments, I find a sense of peace that is mine to keep. And in that peace, I remind myself that even on the hardest days, I am enough.And so, as I offer these thoughts, I send with them a quiet wish for your well-being. May you find moments of rest that nourish you deeply, and may the days of ease, however fleeting, linger softly in your memory. If you ever feel the weight of this journey pressing too hard, know that you are not alone.
Dear friends,
I know these days may feel heavier than usual. The storm outside has passed, but inside, your bodies may feel as though they’re weathering one of their own. Post-exertional malaise (PEM) comes like that—quiet and uninvited, a deep exhaustion that touches every part of you. Whether it’s the physical toll of surviving the hurricane or the emotional weight of the aftermath, you’re feeling it now, maybe more intensely than you have in years.
Please know that what you are experiencing is valid. You’ve already shown such strength, simply by navigating these storms and their many demands. But right now, in this moment, the strongest thing you can do is rest. Not as a surrender, but as a way of caring for yourself in the most compassionate way possible. Rest, because your body is asking for it. Rest, because this is how you heal.
Pacing is not easy when the world around you spins in chaos, but I encourage you to listen to the subtle signs your body gives. You don’t have to meet every demand or engage with every worry. It’s okay to step back, to breathe, and to honor your limits. In doing less, you are doing what is necessary to recover.
If the fog of PEM feels too thick to see through, know that it will lift. Maybe not all at once, but in small, tender ways. There is stillness, there is peace, waiting for you on the other side of this exhaustion. You are not alone in this experience—many of us are moving slowly through these same waters, learning the rhythm of rest, of patience, of letting go.
For now, take each moment as it comes. Let yourselves be. Let yourselves rest. And in that rest, know that you are enough. You are resilient. This, too, will pass.
With all my warmth and understanding, Richard Silverman
Feel free to leave your thoughts, your questions, or simply your presence here—I will meet you with understandingh and warmth. Together, in our shared quiet, we will honor the pace that life has asked of us.
Healing Through Rest: How the Parasympathetic Nervous System Can Support Recovery from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
In the aftermath of the recent hurricanes, Helene and Milton, I’ve felt post-exertional malaise weigh heavily on my body. The fatigue has been more than just physical—it’s emotional and mental, a deep, enveloping weariness that reminds me how fragile recovery can be. As I continue to mend from both the storms and the physical toll of chronic fatigue syndrome, I’ve found myself needing to return to the gentle practices that once brought me peace. The practices that help restore balance to my overstimulated system—those that invite rest rather than force recovery.
Living with chronic fatigue syndrome is like walking on a delicate thread between exhaustion and healing. In these moments, the body feels like a battleground, constantly stuck in “fight or flight.” What I’ve learned, though, is that there’s another way—a softer, quieter way to approach healing. And this way begins with the parasympathetic nervous system.
The Parasympathetic Nervous System: Our Body’s Quiet Healer
The parasympathetic nervous system is often referred to as the “rest and digest” system, the opposite of the “fight or flight” response that dominates so much of my life with ME/CFS. While the sympathetic system pushes us to react, defend, and survive, the parasympathetic system invites us to slow down, to breathe deeply, to recover. It lowers heart rate, softens the breath, and gently restores the body to a state where healing is possible.
For those of us with chronic fatigue, the parasympathetic nervous system is like a refuge, a space where our bodies can finally stop fighting and simply rest. But tapping into this refuge doesn’t come easily. It requires intention, mindfulness, and the willingness to let go of the push to “do” and embrace the power of simply “being.”
Practices that Invite the Body to Rest
Over time, I’ve gathered a small collection of practices that help me reconnect with my parasympathetic nervous system. One of the most powerful has been breathwork. By consciously slowing my breath—drawing in air slowly, holding the quiet pause between, and then releasing—I can feel my body begin to soften. It’s like a signal to my nervous system: “It’s safe. You can rest now.”
Yoga Nidra has also become a vital tool in my recovery. It’s a guided form of meditation that allows me to rest deeply while staying present in the body. In this state, my body heals while my mind remains aware, a powerful reminder that rest is not the same as sleep. Restorative yoga, too, has been a way to surrender fully, each pose an invitation to soften into support, to let my body be held by the earth.
And then there’s the Feldenkrais Method—gentle, mindful movements that teach me to listen to my body without forcing anything. These movements may be subtle, but they remind me that healing isn’t about big gestures or grand efforts. It’s about the small, quiet acts of listening to what my body truly needs in each moment.
Learning to Listen
As I move through these practices, I often find myself returning to Rilke’s words: “I am circling around God, around the ancient tower, and I have been circling for a thousand years, and I still don’t know: am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?” Like Rilke, I am circling around the wisdom within me, learning the language of my body’s needs.
Some days, I feel like the storm—torn by fatigue and pain. Other days, I am the quiet center, the stillness amidst the chaos. I am learning that healing isn’t about becoming something new or different. It’s about softening into who I already am and trusting that my body knows the way forward.
An Invitation for Beta Testers
If this resonates with you, I’d like to invite you to help beta test a new GPT model I’m developing. This model is designed to act as a relaxation coach, guiding you through practices like breathwork, Yoga Nidra, and gentle movements to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. It’s a tool I’m hoping will help others find the same peace and healing that these practices have brought me.
This model is still in development, and I’m looking for a small group of people willing to try it out and provide feedback. If you’re interested, please reach out to me in the comments section with a few sentences about why this model interests you, how it could benefit your journey, and why you’d be interested in providing feedback. Your thoughts and insights will be invaluable as I continue to shape and improve it.
Thank you for walking this journey with me. In the quiet, I’m learning to heal. May we all be well and safe. 🙏❤️🙏
A gentle exploration of how pacing can help you find balance and protect your well-being while living with chronic illness—along with thoughtful tools and guidance for those seeking support on this journey.
Pacing is the quiet art of learning to live gently within the rhythms of your body, an act of surrender not to defeat, but to wisdom. It asks you to listen closely, with reverence, to the invisible boundaries your energy sets each day—boundaries that shift like tides, at times quietly receding, at times closing in. For those living with post-viral ME/CFS or long COVID, pacing is not about building stamina or pushing through; it is a way of navigating the unpredictable waters of illness, steering not toward exhaustion but toward balance.
Think of your energy as a delicate thread stretched between moments. Some threads are finer than others, fraying at the edges after only the smallest tug. On certain days, your energy is enough to string together simple acts—getting out of bed, speaking a few words, tending to a meal. On others, even holding a thought in your mind feels like a weight too great to bear. There is no map for how far your thread will extend each day, and so the practice of pacing requires patience: learning when to weave activity into that thread and when to set it down altogether.
It begins with noticing. As the morning unfolds, ask yourself: How does your body feel today? What whispers does it send about the tasks ahead—are your limbs heavy, your mind clouded? Or does the day offer a rare clarity, a lightness in your chest? This gentle inquiry is the starting point of pacing, the first invitation to move in harmony with yourself. If you learn to honor your limits before they are breached, you begin to discover that rest, too, is a form of action—an act of preservation, of quiet resistance to the demands of doing.
There will be moments when you falter. Some days, buoyed by the hope of feeling better, you may do too much, only to find yourself crashed in bed the next morning, as though your body is reminding you: even good days must be tended with care. And yet, these moments are not failures but teachers, guiding you back to the path of gentleness. The gift of pacing is not in perfection but in the willingness to adjust, again and again, to the ebb and flow of your energy. It teaches that every step back into rest is not a retreat but a recalibration—a way of finding your balance anew.
In practice, pacing asks that you break life into smaller pieces. No task need be completed all at once; no activity is so urgent that it cannot be paused. It may mean spreading chores across hours or days, resting between each small effort. You might find that simply sitting still before you are exhausted—what some call “micro-rests”—becomes a way to protect your energy, much like tending a fragile flame so it does not burn too fast.
It also teaches the value of saying no, of drawing boundaries not out of reluctance but out of care for yourself. The world may ask more of you than you can give, but your worth is not measured by what you accomplish. Pacing offers you the grace to step back when needed, to protect the little energy you have, and to understand that in rest there is healing, even if that healing is slow and subtle.
Through this practice, you begin to understand that your life with chronic illness is not a race to reclaim the old ways of being, but an invitation to live differently—deliberately, thoughtfully, and with compassion for yourself. Some days will still carry setbacks, and your thread may feel thin and worn, but you learn to trust that even in these moments, you are practicing something essential: the art of living well within your limits.
If this way of being resonates with you, I invite you to explore pacing as a tool for navigating life with long COVID, post-viral ME/CFS, or any chronic illness. It is not a cure, but a guide—a way to live with care, softness, and respect for the boundaries your body sets.
And if you are looking for a gentle companion in this journey—someone to offer guidance on pacing, energy conservation, and emotional support—I invite you to try out this free GPT assistant. This tool provides thoughtful advice, helps you manage the challenges of chronic illness, and offers a steady, compassionate voice tailored to your unique needs.
Question: What’s the best way to pace myself with ME/CFS?
Answer: Pacing with ME/CFS is all about finding balance—managing your energy levels to avoid triggering post-exertional malaise (PEM) and staying within your “energy envelope.”
As you read this post, please remember that pacing applies here too. There’s a lot of information, and it’s important to honor your capacity. Consider reading a little, then resting, and coming back to it when you feel ready. There’s no need to read and understand all of this at once. Take your time, and be gentle with yourself as you move through it.
Here are some practical steps to help you pace yourself:
Understand Your Energy Envelope
Think of your energy levels like a battery. You have a limited amount of energy available each day. The goal is to stay within this limit to avoid overexertion and the subsequent crash.
Reflect on Your Energy: You might find it helpful to reflect on your energy levels each day—perhaps by jotting down your experiences in a journal or simply observing what drains your energy and what helps you recharge. Noticing these patterns over time can offer insights into how best to care for yourself.
Break Tasks Into Smaller Steps
Breaking down activities into smaller, manageable steps can make things feel less overwhelming. You might try doing just 10 minutes of a task, resting, and then returning to it later if you feel up to it.
Pause Often: Consider taking breaks before you feel tired. These pauses are a way of nurturing your energy, helping you avoid pushing yourself too far and risking PEM.
Alternate Rest and Activity (The 50% Rule)
If you’re uncertain about your limits, it might help to do only 50% of what you think you can manage. This approach offers a gentle buffer, allowing you to stay within your energy envelope without feeling stretched too thin.
Balance Rest and Activity: You could try balancing periods of activity with rest. For instance, if you spend 15 minutes on a task, consider taking 15-30 minutes of rest afterward—even if you feel like you could keep going.
Prioritize Essential Tasks
Focus on tasks that are most important or meaningful. Let go of non-essential activities when you’re having low-energy days.
Use the “3 Ps”:
Plan:
Organize your day to spread out energy-draining activities.
Prioritize:
Decide what’s most important.
Pace:
Slow down, take breaks, and listen to your body.
Adjust for “Good Days”
On days when you feel better, it’s tempting to do more. But this can lead to overexertion and worsening symptoms later. Stick to a consistent routine and avoid the boom-and-bust cycle where you overdo it one day and crash the next.
Listen to Your Body’s Cues
Pay attention to signs of fatigue, brain fog, or any symptoms. These are indicators that it’s time to rest. Don’t wait until you feel completely drained.
Use Energy-Saving Tools and Techniques
Find ways to make daily tasks easier, like sitting down while cooking or using adaptive tools to conserve energy. Even small adjustments can make a big difference in preventing overexertion.
Be Kind to Yourself
ME/CFS pacing takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself, and understand that setbacks happen. Rest is not a sign of weakness, but a necessary part of managing your energy.
The goal of pacing is not to push through but to balance activities with rest so you can maintain stability and, over time, potentially expand what you’re able to do without triggering a crash.
Remember, your well-being is not a race or a challenge to conquer. It’s a journey of listening to your body and honoring its needs, step by step. ❤️
If you ever feel unsure, working with a healthcare professional familiar with ME/CFS can help tailor pacing to your unique needs.
Rest now, breath by breath, Let each moment cradle you— And nourish your soul.
As we recover from the aftermath of Hurricane Helene here in Florida, many of us are left not only dealing with physical damage and power outages but also with the internal toll such intense stress can take. For those of us living with chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS), the impact can be particularly difficult, as our systems are already strained and now must cope with the post-storm chaos. This is a time when all of our skills for stress management, pacing, and self-care become essential—what Chögyam Trungpa might call “on-the-spot” practice.
Understanding ME/CFS and Post-Exertional Malaise (PEM)
Living with post-viral myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME/CFS) means managing a complex condition that affects multiple body systems, including energy production, the nervous system, and immune responses. One of the hallmark symptoms is post-exertional malaise (PEM), which refers to the worsening of symptoms after even small amounts of physical, emotional, or mental exertion. This could manifest as extreme fatigue, brain fog, muscle pain, increased sensitivity to noise and light, and a host of other symptoms that flare up after the body has been pushed past its limits.
After a high-stress event like a hurricane, PEM can be easily triggered, making the recovery process even more difficult. The combination of exhaustion, nausea, sensory overload, and emotional stress all contribute to a heightened flare-up.
On-the-Spot Strategies for Coping with Stress and PEM During Recovery
Here are some pacing and stress management strategies that can be helpful as you recover from the storm:
Cultivate the Witness
Instead of trying to fix or fight the sensations in your body—like tinnitus, sensitivity, nausea, shakiness, or nervous system overwhelm—focus on observing them. This approach allows you to witness the intensity of your experience without adding the extra layer of resistance. Take a few deep breaths and simply notice the physical sensations, the loudness of the tinnitus, the shakiness in your limbs, the agitation in your mind, as if you’re watching a storm pass through.
This is also an opportunity to remind ourselves of the Buddhist teaching of the second arrow. The first arrow is the physical or emotional pain we experience in a situation like this—our symptoms, the stress, and discomfort. The second arrow is the suffering we add on by resisting, judging, or wishing things were different. By simply observing the experience and letting go of the need to fix it, we avoid the second arrow of mental anguish. In this moment, it’s enough to just be with what is, without adding layers of judgment or frustration.
Mindful Pacing
Pacing is key to managing ME/CFS, especially during stressful recovery periods. Even though you may feel the need to push yourself—to clean up, reconnect with loved ones, or restore normalcy—it’s essential to honor your limits. Break tasks into the smallest chunks possible, rest frequently, and give yourself permission to not complete everything in one go.
Physical pacing: Limit physical tasks to just a few minutes at a time, followed by equal or greater rest.
Mental pacing: Engaging with recovery efforts, media, or news updates in small doses can prevent mental exhaustion.
Emotional pacing: Allow yourself to step back from intense emotions when needed. Take breaks from conversations or situations that feel overwhelming.
Tinnitus and Sensory Overload
For many of us, stress exacerbates tinnitus, turning the ringing into an almost unbearable roar. One approach is to “lean into” the sound—not to fight it but to witness it, as mentioned earlier. Another option is to use low background sounds that are soothing to your system, such as nature sounds, white noise, or calming music, to soften the intensity of tinnitus. Remember, the goal isn’t to eliminate the sound but to cultivate a gentler relationship with it.
Grounding Practices
In times of heightened anxiety and post-storm disarray, grounding techniques can help calm the nervous system. Simple practices like feeling your feet on the floor, focusing on your breath, or using gentle touch (like placing a hand over your heart) can remind your body that you are safe in this moment, despite the external chaos.
Breathing exercise: Try the 4-7-8 breath. Inhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 7, and exhale slowly for a count of 8. This practice helps soothe the nervous system and bring a sense of calm.
Resting in Stillness
Though silence may feel elusive with tinnitus and nervous system overwhelm, there is a different kind of stillness available—the stillness of simply being aware. You don’t need to find literal quiet; instead, notice the quiet space that exists beneath all the sensations and noise. This is where your mind can rest, even when your body cannot.
Pacing Your Recovery
In the days following the hurricane, continue to pace yourself. Power outages, disrupted routines, and the emotional and physical toll of cleanup efforts can keep you in a heightened state of alert. Be mindful not to overdo it as you engage with recovery tasks, and remember that healing from PEM takes time. Even small tasks can be enough to push your body too far, so take frequent breaks and allow your body the space it needs to recover.
Post-Hurricane Care for ME/CFS
As we navigate the chaos left by Hurricane Helene, it’s vital to be gentle with ourselves and recognize the profound impact that stress can have on our health. Recovery is not just about cleaning up the physical aftermath but also giving our bodies the rest and care they need to heal from the exertion and stress.
Take things moment by moment, and know that it’s okay to ask for help. Whether from neighbors, online support groups, or local resources, you don’t have to navigate this alone. The storm has passed, and now is the time to focus on restoration—both externally and internally.
By integrating these on-the-spot practices into your routine, even during the stress of post-hurricane recovery, you can help your body manage the intensity of post-exertional malaise, tinnitus, and the other challenges that come with ME/CFS during such times. Stay safe and prioritize your well-being above all.
Rest now, breath by breath, Let each moment cradle you— And nourish your soul.
Reminder: If reading this post becomes tiring, remembert to pause and rest. Pacing applies to all activities, even the ones we love, like reading and learning. Come back to this post later if you need to. Practicing pacing, even in small moments, is an essential part of living well with chronic fatigue syndrome.
Introduction
There’s a rhythm to living with chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), one that demands a delicate balance of energy. Most of us who live with this condition become intimately familiar with pacing—learning how to manage our energy, smoothing out the hills and valleys of our strength. Through pacing, I’ve learned to minimize the crashes that come when I push myself too far. But even with this practice, there are moments when I consciously decide to overdo it.
Sometimes, there’s a powerful desire to break out of the limits that CFS imposes. It’s a rebellion, a brief escape. I know when I’m pushing too far, but I choose to embrace life fully for a day or two. I let myself feel that temporary energy, even though I know I’ll crash later. It’s a conscious decision to say, “I’m going to enjoy this moment, and I’m willing to pay the price.”
For anyone with CFS, this might sound familiar. We know pacing is vital to managing our condition, but there are times when the joy of overdoing it feels worth the consequences. And yet, when the crash comes—and it always does—the body demands recovery. This is where the real work begins, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.
The Second Arrow: Witnessing the Mind’s Reactions
When I crash, the body does what it needs to do to heal, and I’m forced to stop. But I’ve learned over time that what really intensifies suffering isn’t just the crash itself—it’s the mental and emotional turmoil that can follow. This is where the teachings of vrittis and pratyayas have been so transformative for me.
In simple terms, vrittis are the fluctuations of the mind—the rising and falling thoughts and emotions. Pratyayas are the seeds that drive these mental fluctuations, often based on past experiences, memories, or attachments. Together, these create the mental chatter that, when left unchecked, can deepen the suffering of any crash.
Buddhist teachings describe this extra layer of suffering as the “second arrow.” The first arrow is the unavoidable pain—whether physical, emotional, or otherwise. But the second arrow is the mental suffering we add on top of that pain: the self-criticism, the frustration, the inner dialogue that says, “Why did I overdo it? I knew better.” This second arrow is where much of the suffering lies.
But by the yogic practice of witnessing the vrittis and pratyayas, I’ve learned to avoid that second arrow. I observe the mental fluctuations as they come and go, without attaching to them, without allowing them to define my experience. I become the seer—the witness—and in doing so, I find that even during a crash, there is peace to be found.
Pacing and the Conscious Decision to Overdo It
Pacing remains the cornerstone of managing chronic fatigue syndrome. It’s about knowing your limits and respecting them, smoothing out the ups and downs of energy. But what happens when pacing fails? What happens when you make the conscious decision to overdo it, knowing full well that you’ll pay for it later?
For me, the key has been integrating this practice of witnessing into every stage of the process. I allow myself to live fully in those moments of overindulgence, embracing the joy of activity and connection, knowing that a crash will follow. But when the crash comes, I don’t add layers of mental suffering by blaming myself. Instead, I use the crash as an opportunity to practice witnessing—the vrittis and pratyayas are just thoughts and mental patterns, not realities. By observing them, I stay free of the second arrow.
This approach allows me to live with chronic fatigue syndrome in a way that feels less restrictive. Yes, I pace myself. Yes, I’m mindful of my energy. But even when I choose to push past those limits, I know that I can find peace in the aftermath through this practice.
The Impulse to Finish, the Practice of Letting Go
As I write this post, I feel the strong desire to finish it, to post it immediately so that it can be available to those who may benefit from it. It’s an impulse I recognize well—a pratyaya, a desire that drives me to push beyond my limits, even when I know it’s not in my best interest.
But just as I practice witnessing during a crash, I also practice witnessing this impulse. I see it for what it is—just a thought, just Mara, just another fluctuation of the mind. I don’t have to follow it. I don’t have to act on it. Instead, I can pause, rest, and come back to this post when my body is ready.
In the same way, I encourage you, as a reader, to pace yourself. This post is long, and if you find yourself feeling tired, take a break. Reading is an activity that requires energy, and pacing applies here, too. Come back to it later if you need to. Take care of your energy, just as I am doing with mine.
A Soft Rebellion, a Path to Growth
There is something liberating about the moments when we choose to overdo it, to embrace life fully despite knowing we’ll crash later. It’s a soft rebellion, a decision to live in the moment, even when we know the consequences. But with the right mindset, even those crashes can become opportunities for growth and practice.
The teachings of witnessing the vrittis and pratyayas have shown me that even the difficult moments—the crashes, relapses, pain, dysfunction, and discomfort of those moments, days, or weeks of low energy—are fertile ground for inner growth. By avoiding the second arrow, and simply observing my mind without attaching to the fluctuations, I can find peace even in the midst of discomfort.
For anyone living with chronic fatigue syndrome, I hope this reflection offers some comfort and guidance. There is no perfect way to navigate this condition, but there are practices that can help us find peace, even in the most challenging times. Whether it’s through pacing, or through the practice of witnessing, or simply by being gentle with ourselves, especially in moments of overdoing it, we can find a way to live with greater ease and acceptance.
Take your time, pace yourself, and remember that every crash, every moment of overdoing it, is a new opportunity to practice and grow. We are all on this path together, and in that, there is a kind of peace.
Facing the Storm: An Urgent Reminder to Pace and Witness
As I write this, there is a real storm brewing, both within and without. The image below is a weather map of the hurricane that may soon hit my area, forcing me to evacuate. As someone living in an RV, evacuation is usually mandatory in situations like this, and so I find myself facing the possibility of having to leave my bed in the middle of a crash caused by overdoing it.
The threat is very real, and so the importance of pacing is now at a level that I can’t ignore. I must prioritize rest and recovery immediately, because no matter what state I’m in, I’ll have to get out of bed and go to the hurricane shelter at the church next door if an evacuation order comes.
This situation has made it even clearer to me how crucial the practice of witnessing vrittis and pratyayas is. Without that practice, I would be overwhelmed by anxiety and fear right now. The mind wants to run wild with worst-case scenarios and worries, but I have been training myself to simply witness these thoughts as they arise. They are just thoughts—just mental fluctuations. They do not have to define my experience. I can stay present, calm, and clear, ready to deal with whatever comes.
So, after I finish writing this post, I’m going into massive rest and be prepared mode. The practice of pacing has never been more critical. This is an extreme red-flag situation, and I hope it serves as a reminder to all of us with chronic fatigue syndrome: sometimes, the urgency of rest is not just about avoiding a crash; it’s about survival.
Take a look at the image below—it’s a reminder to me, and hopefully to you as well, that life can throw storms at us both literally and metaphorically. But with the right practices, we can remain centered and grounded, ready to face what comes with a steady mind and a rested body.
As we face the storms within and around us, may we find peace in the stillness of our hearts. May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. May all beings experience happiness and the causes of happiness. May we all find safety, strength, and well-being on our journeys, no matter how turbulent the path. May we be guided by wisdom, anchored in compassion, and find harmony in the unfolding of each moment. And in these times of uncertainty, may we remember our interconnectedness, and may we all be held in grace and peace.
Distractions are a common experience, whether during meditation or in the midst of daily activities. They often seem like obstacles, interrupting our focus and pulling us away from the present moment. However, what if these distractions could be transformed from obstacles into opportunities for deeper awareness?
Understanding Distractions as Pratyayas:
In Advaita Vedanta, the concept of pratyaya refers to objects of awareness—anything that arises in the field of consciousness. Distractions, in this context, are simply pratyayas that appear in the mind. Rather than viewing them as problems, we can understand them as natural occurrences in the landscape of the mind, much like clouds passing through the sky.
Integrating Self-Inquiry:
To deepen this understanding, we can integrate the practice of self-inquiry. When a distraction is noticed, instead of becoming frustrated or trying to push it away, we can gently ask, “Who or what is noticing this distraction?” This simple question shifts our focus from the distraction itself to the awareness that perceives it.
In this moment, awareness is present, and by shifting our attention from the distraction to the awareness, we create a space to explore the true nature of the self. This practice not only dissolves the power of the distraction but also redirects our focus to the essence of who we are—the awareness that is always present.
Shifting Perspective:
By adopting this approach, distractions are no longer seen as obstacles but as opportunities to deepen our practice. Each distraction becomes a doorway to self-inquiry, a reminder to return to the awareness that underlies all experiences. Instead of being caught up in the content of the distraction, we use it as a pointer back to the self—the true observer.
Practical Application in Meditation:
Here’s how you can apply this practice during meditation:
Notice the Distraction: When a distraction arises, acknowledge it without judgment. It is simply a pratyaya, an object in the field of awareness.
Ask the Question: Gently ask yourself, “Who is noticing this distraction?” Allow this question to shift your focus from the distraction to the awareness that perceives it.
Acknowledge and Shift: Recognize the distraction as a pratyaya and shift your attention to the awareness itself. This subtle shift can transform the experience, allowing you to rest in the awareness rather than being pulled by the distraction.
Return to the Practice: After acknowledging the awareness, gently return to the primary object of your meditation, such as the breath or mantra, with a renewed sense of presence.
The Liberating Effect of This Practice:
Integrating self-inquiry with the recognition of distractions can have a liberating effect on your meditation practice. It reduces the frustration that often accompanies distractions and transforms them into opportunities for deepening your understanding of the self. By practicing in this way, you cultivate a direct experience of the self as awareness, which transcends the fluctuations of the mind.
Conclusion:
Distractions, when approached with awareness and self-inquiry, become tools for spiritual growth rather than obstacles. This practice encourages a shift from identifying with the content of the mind to recognizing the ever-present awareness that observes it all. The next time a distraction arises, see it as an opportunity to explore the nature of awareness and deepen your connection with your true self.
This is what I have learned after 30 years of living with chronic fatigue. These ten focus points have helped me. Maybe they will help you, too.
NOTE: This article contains a lot of information to process, particularly for those of us dealing with chronic fatigue. Take your time reading and absorbing this information, and don’t hesitate to take breaks as needed. To manage a chronic illness like ME/CFS or Long Covid effectively, it’s crucial to respect our reality and prioritize our self-care. Remember, success is measured in many different ways, and taking care of yourself is always a valuable investment in your overall health and well-being.
Take care and be gentle with yourself.
Pacing: The first suggestion is pacing. It’s essential to balance rest and activity to avoid overexertion and prevent symptom flare-ups. Remember that pacing is not about doing less, but about finding a sustainable balance. Listen to your body, and don’t push yourself into a flare-up. This will take some practice and is likely to change from day to day. So remember… Be careful…. Be mindful…. Discover what works best for you from day to day….
Sleep Hygiene: The second suggestion is sleep hygiene. It’s crucial to establish a regular sleep schedule, create a relaxing bedtime routine, and maintain a sleep-conducive environment. Quality sleep can help reduce your symptoms and improve your overall well-being. Again, this is a practice that you can adapt and modify over time. So remember… Be careful…. Be mindful…. Discover what works best for you from day to day….
Stress Management: The third suggestion is stress management. Stress can exacerbate symptoms of ME/CFS, so it’s crucial to find ways to manage it. Consider meditation, deep breathing exercises, or mindfulness practices to help manage symptoms. There is a free meditation class offered online by MBSR. The MBSR online training course is 100% free, created by a fully certified MBSR instructor, and is based on the program founded by Jon Kabat-Zinn at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. Palouse Mindfulness offers this course. Another suggestion is Toni Bernhard’s book, How to Be Sick. This is a powerful and insightful book that offers a unique perspective on the challenges faced by those of us suffering from chronic illnesses such as ME/CFS, Long Covid, and other similar conditions. You can take a look at this book below.
Gentle Exercise: The fourth suggestion is gentle exercise. Very, very low-impact exercises like gentle stretching or breathing exercises can help improve physical function and well-being. However, always listen to your body and adjust the level of intensity as necessary so that you are always below your post-exertional malaise threshold. Most graded exercise recommendations do not take this into account, and people often overdo it and exacerbate symptoms. Also, low-impact exercise for us may simply be getting out of bed. Or, if bedbound, turning your head from side to side while lying down. Or, flexing and extending your feet while in bed. If you start by doing less and evaluate your response as you go, you will be less likely to exacerbate your symptoms. I can’t tell you how many times I was enjoying a stretching routine only to have PEM the next day. So remember… Be careful…. Be mindful…. Discover what works best for you from day to day….
Nutrition: The fifth suggestion for optimal health and well-being is to pay close attention to your nutrition. A balanced diet that incorporates a variety of nutrient-dense foods, such as fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains, is crucial to maintaining good health. Avoid consuming processed foods that contain high levels of artificial ingredients, unhealthy fats, and added sugars. Opt for fresh, whole foods that provide the essential vitamins, minerals, and fiber your body needs. Don’t forget to drink plenty of water to stay hydrated and promote optimal bodily function. Remember, a healthy diet is an investment in your long-term health and well-being.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): The sixth suggestion for managing ME/CFS, Long Covid, or any chronic illness is to consider cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). This evidence-based therapy can help you develop effective coping strategies to manage the emotional and psychological impacts of living with a chronic illness. By working with a therapist who specializes in CBT, you can learn to identify and challenge negative thought patterns, develop healthy coping mechanisms, and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. CBT has been shown to be effective for individuals with chronic illnesses, and it can be a valuable tool in helping you manage your symptoms and improve your overall quality of life. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a qualified therapist to explore this option further.
Support Network: The seventh suggestion is to seek out and maintain a strong support system. Your support system may include family, friends, and support groups. These individuals can provide you with emotional support and help you manage your condition.
Medication Management: The eighth suggestion is medication management. When managing chronic fatigue, medication management is an important component. Work with your healthcare provider to find the most effective medications for your symptoms while discussing possible side effects and interactions. Starting with lower doses than normally suggested may also be recommended. So remember… Be careful…. Be mindful…. Discover what works best for you from day to day….
Symptom Tracking: The ninth suggestion for managing a chronic illness like ME/CFS or Long Covid is to engage in regular symptom tracking. Keeping track of your symptoms can help you better manage your condition. By keeping a symptom diary, you can also better understandy patterns and triggers that may be exacerbating your symptoms. The key here is to do less of what makes you feel worse, and do more of what helps you to feel better.
Education: The tenth and final suggestion is education. Educate yourself about ME/CFS & Long Covid, including symptoms, diagnosis, and management strategies. Becoming informed can help you advocate for yourself and make informed decisions about your health. Remember that education is an ongoing process, and it’s important to stay up-to-date on the latest research and information about your chronic conditions.
In conclusion, managing chronic fatigue requires a multifaceted approach. By incorporating these ten suggestions into your daily life, you can better manage your condition, improve your quality of life, and find hope for the future. Remember to listen to your body, seek support, and stay informed. Thank you for reading.
Please, for the benefit of others, leave your questions and comments below so we can all learn from one another about these ten steps.
In the tapestry of time, woven with threads of understanding, empathy, and love, I extend my hand to you, a fellow traveler in the realm of chronic fatigue syndrome. It’s not just a condition; it’s a journey, a complex dance with our bodies and minds. You are not a hypochondriac; you are a warrior navigating the intricate landscape of your own existence.
Having walked the same path, I resonate with the words, “After a lifetime of living with chronic fatigue syndrome, you’d think I’d be better at it now.” Each day, a new chapter unfolds, revealing the resilience within us. It’s not about perfection or mastery; it’s about learning, adapting, and discovering the strength that resides within, often unnoticed.
Embrace the wisdom your journey has bestowed upon you. You’ve acquired an intimate knowledge of your body and mind, a profound understanding that defies the misconceptions others may hold. You are not defined by the fatigue that courses through your veins; you are defined by the courage with which you face each day.
In this shared experience, let love be the balm that soothes the weariness, understanding the salve that heals the wounds unseen. As you unravel the layers of your existence, remember that every nuance of your journey contributes to the masterpiece of who you are.
Encourage yourself to practice self-compassion daily. Recognize the victories, no matter how small, and celebrate the resilience that continues to blossom within. You are not alone in this intricate dance; we move together, step by step, navigating the ebb and flow of chronic fatigue syndrome.
May your days be adorned with moments of understanding, empathy, and love – the pillars that support you on this remarkable journey.
May your journey continue to be filled with peace, wisdom, and compassion. 🙏
May we all embrace our journey with a compassionate and open heart, finding solace in the present moment on our path with ME/CFS.
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