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Tag: spiritual surrender

  • Neti Neti #19: Beyond the Desire for Fulfillment and Peace

    Question:

    Paramahansa Yogananda said, ‘Through meditation and devotion, one can experience the presence of God within and lead a life of greater fulfillment and peace.’ At this point in my life, I know these words are true, but the practice of Neti Neti seems even more aligned with my path. It guides me away from distractions, including the desire for fulfillment and peace. These desires, though natural expressions of ego relaxation and pristine mind, can become subtle traps if they turn into goals. How do I reconcile the pursuit of fulfillment and peace with the deeper realization of Neti Neti, which reminds me to let go of even these desires?

    Dear Friend,

    It is a significant realization, this understanding that even the desire for fulfillment and peace can become a subtle trap on the spiritual path. While these states are indeed natural expressions of the relaxation of the ego and the emergence of pristine mind, they must also be met with the same gentle discernment that you apply to all other experiences: Neti, Neti—Not this, not this.

    Desire, in its many forms, has a way of entangling the mind, even when it appears in the guise of something noble or spiritual. The longing for fulfillment, the yearning for peace—these are desires that arise naturally as the ego begins to loosen its grip, as the I-sense starts to dissolve into the vastness of pure awareness. And yet, as you have so wisely recognized, even these desires can become obstacles if they are held too tightly, if they become goals in themselves.

    In this, there is a subtlety that must be navigated with care. The experience of fulfillment and peace is not to be rejected, but neither is it to be grasped. It is to be allowed, to be noticed, and then gently set aside, with the understanding that even these are not the ultimate truth.

    Neti, Neti guides us beyond all that can be named, all that can be desired. It takes us to the very edge of the known, and then, with infinite patience, it takes us further still, into the unknown, into the formless, into the pure awareness that is beyond all seeking. In this place, there is no fulfillment to be attained, no peace to be grasped—because there is no one left to attain or grasp anything. There is only what is, in its simplest, most profound expression.

    This practice is not about rejecting fulfillment or peace, but about seeing them for what they are—temporary states that arise and pass, like clouds in the sky. They are beautiful, they are welcome, but they are not the sky itself. The sky, the vast expanse of pristine mind, remains untouched by the passing of these clouds, just as your true self remains untouched by the ebb and flow of experience.

    In letting go of even the desire for peace and fulfillment, you open yourself to the deeper truth that lies beyond all conditions, beyond all states. You allow yourself to rest in the simple awareness of being, in the silence that is always here, beneath the noise of the mind. This is the ultimate freedom—not the attainment of any particular state, but the realization that you are already that which you seek.

    Neti, Neti—Not this, not this. It is the gentle, persistent reminder that the truth is beyond all concepts, beyond all desires, beyond all states of being. It is the invitation to let go, to surrender, and to rest in the unconditioned awareness that is your true nature.

    Continue with this practice, dear friend, knowing that it is guiding you ever closer to the heart of truth. Let the desires arise and pass as they will, without clinging to them, without rejecting them—simply noticing, and then softly whispering, “Not this, not this.” In this way, you will find a peace that is not sought, a fulfillment that is not attained, but simply is.

    🙏🕊️🙏

  • Preparing for the Storm: A Reflection on Navigating a Hurricane with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

    There is something about preparing for a storm that feels like a dance with the Divine—both a surrender and a determined act of mindfulness. As I sit here in the quiet hours before evacuation, I realize that this has been more than just a physical process of gathering what I need. It has been an intimate spiritual journey, one that stretches my capacity to trust, to let go, and to deepen into the lived experience of the present moment.

    Living with chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) means that every action I take must be intentional. Every task requires careful pacing, every moment of activity balanced with long periods of rest. There is a delicate art to navigating this kind of preparation, especially during a post-exertional malaise (PEM) crash. Yet, somehow, this storm has become a mirror—reflecting back the inner landscape of my spiritual practice, calling me into a deeper relationship with contemplation, with surrender, and with faith.

    The Importance of Pacing
    I began the preparations by gathering what I would take with me: clothes, medications, bedding, and electronics—just enough to fill a small suitcase and backpack. For most, this might seem like a simple task. For me, it was an act of delicate pacing. I worked in small bursts, then returned to rest, mindful of the balance I needed to maintain in order to avoid worsening my symptoms. Each step of preparation became a meditation on pacing, on honoring the limitations of my body while trusting in my ability to persevere.

    In these moments of rest, I found myself returning again and again to the practice of contemplation. I lit a candle, not only for myself but for all those who are suffering—for all sentient beings in the path of this storm and beyond. There is a peace that arises in this kind of surrender. A quiet knowing that, no matter how much preparation is done, the outcome rests in God’s hands. And that, somehow, is enough.

    A Shift from Meditation to Contemplation
    This journey has been more than just practical preparation. It has been a spiritual unfolding. For years, I have studied the teachings of Advaita Vedanta and Dzogchen, exploring the ways in which these paths guide us beyond intellectual understanding and into a direct experience of the Divine. In the midst of preparing for this hurricane, I felt a deepening—a shift from meditation to contemplation.

    Contemplation is not about thinking or striving. It is about resting in the space of the witness, in the awareness of what is, without grasping or resisting. As the storm approaches, I find myself leaning more into this practice. Each moment becomes an invitation to let go of control, to allow the Divine to move through me, and to trust that whatever happens, it is part of a greater unfolding.

    Mindful Eating and Body Awareness
    Even the simple act of eating became a mindful practice. I prepared a spontaneous meal—scrambled eggs with garlic and cayenne, rich in healthy fats and protein to fuel me through the day. As I ate, I focused on each bite, slowing down, tasting, being fully present with the nourishment my body needed.

    In the midst of so much uncertainty, these small acts of mindfulness brought me back to center. They reminded me that, even as the world outside seemed to spin with chaos, I could find peace within the present moment. I could honor my body’s needs, even as I prepared to enter an unfamiliar shelter and face whatever lay ahead.

    Pacing the Preparation of the RV
    As I packed my belongings, I also prepared my RV, the place I call home. I moved slowly, bringing frozen food to the clubhouse, unplugging the RV, securing what needed to be secured. I paced myself, taking each step with intention, aware that my energy was limited and precious.

    There is something sacred about these practical tasks, when approached with mindfulness. They become a part of the spiritual practice, a way of aligning the outer world with the inner. In unplugging the RV, I was also unplugging from the need to control. In securing my belongings, I was also securing my faith—trusting that whatever happens, I am held by something greater than myself.

    Karma Yoga: Offering and Receiving Prayers
    During this time, I also turned to the practice of Karma Yoga—offering prayers for the world, while asking for prayers in return. I posted a prayer request on Facebook, asking my community to hold me, and all those in the storm’s path, in their hearts. The response was overwhelming. The outpouring of love, of people offering their prayers and well wishes, became a source of strength for me. It reminded me that, even in times of uncertainty, we are never alone. We are held by the compassion of others, by the grace of the Divine, by the interconnectedness of all life.

    Surrender and Trust
    And so, I surrender. I surrender to whatever will be, knowing that I have done all I can to prepare—both physically and spiritually. I surrender to the wisdom of the Divine, trusting that, in the midst of this storm, there is a deeper unfolding happening. There is a lesson in the letting go, in the release of control, in the peace that comes from trusting that God’s will is always unfolding in ways that we may not understand, but can still embrace.

    To those who read this, who are also navigating life with chronic fatigue syndrome or facing similar challenges, I hope this reflection offers you some sense of peace. We cannot always control the storms that come our way, but we can choose how we prepare, how we respond, and how we anchor ourselves in the presence of the Divine.

    May you be safe. May you be held. May you find peace in the midst of the storm.

    🙏🕊️🙏

  • Poem: The Lightness of Letting Go

    We chase the air and call it solid ground,
    A path to walk, yet never to be found.
    Enlightenment, it dances in the breeze,
    A dream we seek, but slips with gentle ease.

    Like floaters in the eye, it drifts away,
    Each time we think we’ve found it for a day.
    And angels laugh, for they can take to flight,
    By knowing not to hold their burden tight.

    The mind’s a joke, it tries to make its stand,
    While life just moves the pieces out of hand.
    So let us fly and let the effort go,
    For lightness is the only truth to know.

    🙏🕊️🙏