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  • 10: Embracing Your Own Pace: The Conclusion of Our Post-Viral ME/CFS Exercise Journey

    10: Embracing Your Own Pace: The Conclusion of Our Post-Viral ME/CFS Exercise Journey

    Dear Friends,

    As we come to the conclusion of this series on exercising with post-viral ME/CFS, I want to offer you a heartfelt reflection on the journey we’ve been exploring together. It’s been a path of discovery, patience, and above all, compassion—compassion for yourself, your body, and your unique experience with ME/CFS.

    We’ve discussed everything from imagining workouts while lying in bed, to sitting in the parking lot of a gym, to slowly integrating light movements and mindful gym sessions. This spectrum of activity is not only about physical exercise but about honoring your current energy levels, emotions, and overall well-being.

    Your Unique Path of Wellness

    Living with post-viral ME/CFS, we understand that each day can be different. Some days, simply imagining a gentle workout, breathing mindfully, or visualizing movements while resting in bed might be the most appropriate and loving action for your body. On other days, maybe you can manage a shower, do a few dishes, or perhaps stretch or go for a very short, slow walk. These moments are victories. They are gentle movements toward health, and they count just as much as lifting weights or running miles.

    As you know, post-viral ME/CFS requires a delicate balance between rest and activity, and this balance changes depending on how your body is feeling from day to day. The most important practice we’ve emphasized throughout this series is listening to yourself, checking in frequently, and not pushing beyond what feels sustainable. Your body is guiding you, and it knows what it needs.

    From Visualizations to Gentle Movements

    Remember, if you are visualizing a workout or even imagining your body moving while lying down, this is still a powerful practice. It connects your mind with your muscles and breath, keeping your awareness sharp and your spirit engaged. Some days, this practice might feel like the perfect balance—bringing you peace, relaxation, and a sense of accomplishment without straining your energy.

    On other days, the thought of leaving the house or driving to the gym might feel achievable, even if the workout doesn’t happen. Simply being in that environment—sitting in the parking lot or spending time among others exercising—can offer motivation and encouragement. It’s an act of being present, of showing up for yourself without expectation.

    Every Step is Progress

    For those days when you feel you can engage in more, maybe it’s a small set of physical movements at home. Doing a few dishes, a brief stretching session, or just getting up to do light housework is meaningful. These activities are achievements. By mindfully engaging in these everyday actions, you bring a sense of calm and purpose to your day.

    Some of you may eventually reach a point where you feel strong enough to go to the gym or engage in a consistent exercise routine, but the key is to always move forward at your own pace—gently, kindly, and without judgment.

    Well Wishes for Your Journey

    The most important takeaway from this series is that exercise can mean many different things, and it’s essential that you define it in a way that respects your body’s unique rhythms and needs. Exercise isn’t about how much you can push or accomplish; it’s about how well you can listen to your body and respond to its cues with love and care.

    You are not alone in this journey. There is a community of people who understand, who are walking a similar path, and who honor each victory, no matter how small it may seem. Whether you are visualizing a workout from bed, taking a short walk, or simply taking the time to breathe mindfully, you are engaging in a practice of self-care and healing.

    I wish you strength, patience, and compassion on this path. May your journey be one of growth, self-love, and acceptance. Celebrate every step you take, and remember that wellness is not about perfection—it is about finding peace and balance within yourself.

    With heartfelt encouragement and well wishes,

    Richard Silverman

    🙏🕊️🙏



  • 4: Sitting in the Gym Parking Lot: A Gentle Step Toward Physical Movement

    For many people living with Post-Viral ME/CFS, even the thought of physical exercise can feel overwhelming. The body is a delicate balance, and pushing it beyond its limits can trigger post-exertional malaise (PEM)—that all-too-familiar crash after exertion that leaves you feeling more fatigued and symptomatic than before. Yet, there may still be a desire, a pull to move your body, to regain some sense of vitality through gentle movement or exercise.

    In this blog post, we’ll explore a step that may seem simple on the surface, but which can have profound psychological and emotional benefits: driving to the gym and sitting in the parking lot.

    Yes, you read that right. Sitting in the parking lot can be a significant milestone on your path toward physical movement. For those with Post-Viral ME/CFS, any task that involves leaving the house can feel like an accomplishment, and the gym itself can feel like a daunting place. This practice of just being in the environment, without the pressure to perform or exert yourself, is an important step in the journey toward reclaiming your fitness—without pushing beyond your energy limits.

    Why the Parking Lot?

    Let’s take a moment to recognize that even small steps deserve celebration. If you’ve been living with moderate to severe Post-Viral ME/CFS, leaving the house might be rare. Driving to a location, let alone one associated with exercise, can feel emotionally and physically taxing. The parking lot becomes a symbolic space—a way to re-enter the fitness world gently, without expectation, without pressure, and without straining your energy reserves.

    Here’s why it’s a useful and transformative step:

    Driving to the gym—even if you don’t leave the car—begins the process of mentally reconnecting with the idea of exercise. It shifts the gym from being a space of intimidation or unattainable goals into a place of possibility.

    Simply being in the environment where exercise happens allows your mind and body to reacclimate to the space. It’s a small exposure to the world of fitness without forcing yourself into action.

    For many with Post-Viral ME/CFS, exercise spaces may come with a sense of guilt or frustration. By sitting in the parking lot, you’re reclaiming that space on your own terms. You’re telling yourself, “I’m here, in my own way, and I’m doing what’s possible for me today.”

    How to Practice Sitting in the Gym Parking Lot

    This practice is about taking the pressure off. It’s not about forcing yourself to take the next step but rather creating a safe and comfortable relationship with exercise spaces again.

    Choose a day when you feel ready. On a day when you have a bit more energy, consider driving to the gym. Remind yourself that going into the gym is not the goal—you’re simply taking a small step toward engaging with the space.

    Once you arrive in the parking lot, find a space where you can sit comfortably. Take a moment to relax in the car. You might bring a book, listen to calming music, or practice mindfulness or breathing exercises while you’re there.

    Take in the sights and sounds around you. Notice people walking into the gym, coming out after their workouts. Pay attention to the energy of the place, without feeling the need to participate just yet.

    Whether it’s five minutes or half an hour, allow yourself to sit in the parking lot for as long as it feels supportive to your mental and emotional state. There’s no need to go beyond your limits—this is about engaging at your own pace.

    After you’ve finished, acknowledge this accomplishment. Driving to the gym and sitting in the parking lot is a step, and it deserves recognition. You’ve taken a step toward reconciling your relationship with exercise, and that’s no small feat.

    Psychological and Emotional Benefits

    For individuals with Post-Viral ME/CFS, the mental and emotional barriers to exercise can be as significant as the physical ones. The fear of triggering a flare-up, the memories of past physical limitations, or the frustration with the body’s current state can make the idea of working out emotionally loaded.

    By driving to the gym without the pressure to work out, you can begin to disarm these emotional triggers:

       •   Reducing Anxiety: Just being in the space without the expectation to perform can reduce the anxiety associated with exercise. It gives you a chance to simply be present in the gym’s environment without pushing yourself.
       •   Reconnecting with the Gym: Over time, you might begin to feel more comfortable and familiar with the gym again. Positive associations can start to replace any feelings of guilt or inadequacy that might have previously arisen when thinking about exercise.
       •   Empowering Yourself: Every time you drive to the gym and sit in the parking lot, you are taking control of the experience. This step is about doing what you can, rather than focusing on what you can’t. This empowerment builds a sense of self-efficacy and confidence.

    Expanding the Practice

    As this practice becomes more familiar, you might start to feel ready to take the next step. That could mean simply walking into the gym, sitting down in a public area with a book, or watching others work out while you relax. Again, there’s no pressure to work out at this stage. Your presence in the space is the goal.

    From here, you might progress to stretching in a quiet corner or using a very light machine that feels comfortable and within your limits. You’ll be the best judge of when and how to expand your practice, and it’s important to always check in with your body and your energy reserves before making any decisions.

    Final Thoughts: Celebrating Small Victories

    The practice of driving to the gym and sitting in the parking lot may seem small, but it’s a powerful act of self-compassion and patience. It’s an acknowledgment that your journey with Post-Viral ME/CFS requires a different pace, a more mindful approach to fitness.

    You are already moving forward, even if the steps feel small. Celebrate these victories, and trust that as you continue to engage in this practice, you will gradually find the strength and confidence to engage with exercise in a way that’s right for your body.

    Next Post Preview: Entering the Gym—Being in the Space Without Pressure

    In the next post, we’ll explore how to take the next step: entering the gym. We’ll discuss how to create a positive and calming experience by being in the gym environment without the pressure to work out, and how to continue building a healthy, patient relationship with your fitness journey.

    🙏🕊️🙏